I miss my little girl.
I miss her sweet voice
I miss hearing her call for me "mommy" or "mama"
I miss her smile
I miss her blue eyes
I miss her laughter and her hand slapping on her leg when something is so funny
I miss hearing her say, "Oh my goodness sakes!"
I miss her hugs
I miss watching her crawl, playing Lego's, color and play with her older sisters
I miss watching her dance to "Just Dance"
I miss seeing her excitement in the morning when she first sees me
I miss holding her
I miss every bit of her
And while I know I am with her now, it is heartbreaking to see her like this. The nurse yesterday said she was in a "medically induced coma." It sounded so much worse hearing it out loud, even though I knew it.
Today has been a fairly low key day. A few ups and downs. A few talks with doctors to gain further understanding. She still is running a fever, on a lot of oxygen (which they mentioned today could cause permanent damage). Her chest xray from this morning showed some improvement on the left side. Her blood gases have been a little crazy and to save you all from the confusion I have felt I am not going to share those details. (ok so maybe just a little info - her CO2 was 38 last night....this afternoon it was 77). She seems to be very sensitive to the smallest of changes. She is still retaining a lot of fluid so she is puffy (do you like my technical term?). Her lips are cracking a little and her trach stoma seems a little irritated.
I pray we will see a turning point soon. I long for the day to hold her again, to love her and kiss her, to interact with her...
I miss her sweet voice
I miss hearing her call for me "mommy" or "mama"
I miss her smile
I miss her blue eyes
I miss her laughter and her hand slapping on her leg when something is so funny
I miss hearing her say, "Oh my goodness sakes!"
I miss her hugs
I miss watching her crawl, playing Lego's, color and play with her older sisters
I miss watching her dance to "Just Dance"
I miss seeing her excitement in the morning when she first sees me
I miss holding her
I miss every bit of her
And while I know I am with her now, it is heartbreaking to see her like this. The nurse yesterday said she was in a "medically induced coma." It sounded so much worse hearing it out loud, even though I knew it.
Today has been a fairly low key day. A few ups and downs. A few talks with doctors to gain further understanding. She still is running a fever, on a lot of oxygen (which they mentioned today could cause permanent damage). Her chest xray from this morning showed some improvement on the left side. Her blood gases have been a little crazy and to save you all from the confusion I have felt I am not going to share those details. (ok so maybe just a little info - her CO2 was 38 last night....this afternoon it was 77). She seems to be very sensitive to the smallest of changes. She is still retaining a lot of fluid so she is puffy (do you like my technical term?). Her lips are cracking a little and her trach stoma seems a little irritated.
I pray we will see a turning point soon. I long for the day to hold her again, to love her and kiss her, to interact with her...
She seriously is the sweetest little thing ever! Reading your list made me echo the sentiment in my head! I want to see her doing those things too! I can't imagine how much you must be feeling it!
ReplyDeleteI hope that turning point comes ASAP. When she wakes back up, tell her we have a coloring book (write our names) date!
We love you Mel & Dave and we LOVE Emylie too! You are all in our prayers and I can't wait to hear that Emylie is doing great and is headed home! It won't be long! :) Take good care of yourselves too!
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ReplyDeleteWe have been thinking about and praying for you guys --and especially your sweet Emylie! Please let us know if we can help with anything! Your little family is so special!
ReplyDeleteWe send our love your way. My heart goes out to you and sweet Emylie. We love you and are thinking of you constantly.
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