She makes my heart smile

The nurse that was scheduled to come tonight called off, so I am on night shift duty. Emylie had been asleep for almost 2 hours and I went to reposition her onto her left side. As I went to move her blanket and looked down at her legs I could tell that her left knee was up. Before Emylie was born I wouldn't have thought to much of this simple happening. But the simple fact that Emylie was able to get her leg in this position all by herself and while sleeping is simply miraculous.

I am incredibly grateful to be her mom. I am grateful for the joy she brings into my life.

What to do while Emylie's at school?

Having Emylie go to school has been an adjustment. She is loving everything about school. She loves the bus. She loves playing at school and she loves coming home.

Then there is me. :) Up front - I love that she loves going to school. I am just learning how to retrain my brain and do things I haven't been able to do.
For the last three years most of my days have been spent in the great room/kitchen area. I don't do things in other parts of the house. If I answer the door I am trying to make it quick while listening for Emylie. If nature calls, (yes - all of us have to now and then.) I hurry with the door open so I can listen for Emylie. When someone else is in the house that makes things a little trickier. I don't go outside without Emylie, I don't go downstairs without Emylie. Sometimes I have had to quickly run outside to help one of my other children who need help or step outside the door to make sure they cross the street safely. But I don't leave the room without worrying about Emylie's stability and safety.

So when she goes to school you would think I would have this new freedom. I know that while she is at school I can go downstairs or down the hall. I now I can start a load of laundry and not worry that the water is too loud. I can go pick tomatoes out of the garden. I can go get the mail. If I allowed myself I could even take a nap. Yet I find myself staying in the same part of the house that I normally am with Emylie. I find that I often have to remind myself that it is okay to do these things.

I know I am comparing myself to a dog but here is the best analogy I can come up with. If you put in an underground shock fence in your yard for your dog, the dog quickly learns that if they cross at certain points they will get shocked. Over time they learn to stay within the area. If you were to take the fence away, the dog would continue to stay in the same area they were trained to stay in. That is kind of how I feel. I know it will gradually get better and I will get used to this new freedom but it has been interesting to experience it. And in all honesty I miss my little girl like crazy! (what mom wouldn't?)

How...What...Where...When...

Probably since I was pregnant with Emylie, I have tried to think of what her future needs would be. Trying to figure out what type, style, layout of a home would work for her and our family (---it can be mind boggling). As her needs have and will continue to change, I have tried to think of everything I can with the knowledge I have.

Because where we are living has always been a temporary step, I have also tried to figure out where we should move to. Where would be the best place to raise our children and call home. At times I felt I wanted to stay close to my parents because of their support. How far will the nurses be willing to travel? We have known we haven't wanted to move any further from Primary Children's hospital than we currently are. Dave has had to step in and pick up the girls from school when they are sick or when the carpool wasn't available to because I was at home with Emylie. He also helps take all the kids to doctor visits and other activities. Which poses the question, how far away from his work should we go? I think (and hope) there will be a time when I will be able to take my kids to school and do all the mom stuff. Where will it be best for all our children? What are the schools like in the area has always been a concern for me and now it isn't just that but how wheelchair friendly are the schools? How does the schools and the school district take care of children with unique needs? These are just a few of the many thoughts I have had.

I have prayed and prayed for guidance, for inspiration. Knowing that the Lord knows better than I do, what can and will work for our family. Relying on the Lord helps because I know if I do my part and have FAITH, he will help me know what is best.

A couple months ago, I felt the gently promptings of a general area we should consider. I say general because that is exactly what it is. I don't know the exact side of town or the neighborhood or street but I do know it is not where we currently are at, and it is closer to Primary's but further from Dave's work. I no longer feel I need to be so close to my parents. I know they will still be there to support us when needed. I think having a start in an area where I haven't lived most of my life will be a wonderful adventure and I look forward to it.

On a Sunday evening the beginning of September, I was waiting for the night nurse to arrive and thought I would look online for house plans. I have done it before and found a room that I liked or a entry way that I thought was roomy enough to maneuver a wheel chair, so bits and pieces of houses. I have searched "house plans" in the google search before and usually came up with the same websites. But this Sunday evening was different...a new site was first on the list. As I looked through the plans I found one that stood out above any I had ever found and it gave me HOPE. This house plan wasn't anything fancy nor did it have all the solutions, yet surprisingly it was almost perfect. I have tried several times, unsuccessfully to think or draw up a layout that would work. This floor plan still needed some adjustments but it somehow just felt right. Dave felt the same when he looked at it. I felt as if the Lord was ever so gently showing me and answering my prayers. It is hard for me to put into words other than to say I felt more hope than the day before. I don't know for sure if we will get to build a home or even that home, but I know without a doubt things will work out.

Preschool

Emylie started preschool last Thursday the 8th. We found a nurse to go to school with her after interviewing 2 additional nurses. Day 1 of school was exciting and nervous all together. Emylie didn't enjoy the bus ride, the nurse told me she cried the whole way to school. I met up with Emylie and the nurse at the school. I don't know about Emylie, but I was really glad I got to go with her for the first day. I tried to just observe and also be available if the nurse had questions or needed help. Emylie did fabulous at school.

She met her teachers: Teacher Rachelle and Teacher Jill

She got right in and played with the toys and her teacher.

She participated in circle time as they just happened to sing one of her favorite songs: The Wheels on the Bus.

She pretended to have a snack with the other kids. Teacher Jill was fantastic at pretending with Emylie. She gave her pretend water and pretend marshmallows - they even counted them as they were given.

In small groups she got to cut straws with scissors. She thought one of her classmates was hilarious as he said "snap" as he cut the straws.

Overall I think Emylie enjoyed her first day of school. Friday she did a little better with the bus ride and Monday the nurse said she didn't cry at all either way.

I am so grateful she is enjoying school and that she looks forward to going. It sure helps when it comes time for her to leave. It is definitely a adjustment for me and each day gets a little easier. I cannot describe how much I miss her while she is gone.

An Awesome Moment!

You know what is so amazing? ---Seeing your little girl crawl on her hands and knees a couple feet to get the toy she wants to play with!!